Dungeons and Dragons Primer: A Guide to Gaming with Kids

Well done, adventurer. You've arrived at the unenviable task of wrangling together a group of tiny, fickle humans who have all agreed to try D&D for the first time. 

Uh oh. Now you and four tiny, codependent humans are sitting in a room staring at each other wondering why you have all agreed to sit in a room using your imaginations together.  

After many instances of this exact situation, we have compiled a reference for how to approach your first game of D&D with newbies. (Plus, check out our article about all of the benefits of playing D&D. Or, for those worried about the amount of violence in games like D&D, check out our article discussing violence in games.)
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Granted, this primer was developed for tiny, mildly-engaged humans, but has proven more than adequate to field all the questions you will get from a group of large, imagination-less humans as well, such as:

"So, like, what do we do?"

and

"So, like, how do we do that?"

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Good Players: 
discern rules versus limits. They use rules to defy limits.

• Rules
  • maintain fairness and allow players to profit from good choices
  • prevent unproductive, IMMATURE instincts; incentivize ingenuity
• Imagination
  • originality, NOT silliness; silly = indulgent, original = constructive
  • tests the limits of the game, identifies opportunities and blooms ideas for the group to consider
• Behavior 
  • patience is key, modesty is king
  • there can be a lot of waiting for one’s turn; reframe this time to listen, plan, adapt, iterate and support
  • be true to your character, but disruptive gameplay has consequences; you are in control of your own fun and experience
• Cooperation
  • plan as a team; share ideas and responsibilities; speak up when feeling compelled, pipe down when being unhelpful
• Strengths/Weaknesses
  • consider what the group lacks and how to provide it
  • there are hundreds of ways to be useful
  • add your own strengths to your character – or experiment with strengths you wish for
• Growth
  • min/max: choose a small number of abilities and become an expert
  • Or strategize growth to access multiple complimentary abilities
  • BUT master basic skills before moving onto new interests
• Self-Expression
  • the game’s abstraction and impermanence allows you to try on endless costumes and personas
  • debates will happen, there are bad ideas, but judgment and condescension should never be tolerated​

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​Good Dungeon Masters:
become the world they invent, and leave their Ego behind

• Fair
  • ​find a balance between cool and consistent
  • unbiased -- your mission is not to defeat players, your mission is richness
  • punish poor choices and inattentiveness, reward being outsmarted, keep all options open, incentivize creativity often
• ​Challenging
  • ​complexity DOES NOT EQUAL confusing
  • quests/enemies/mysteries should get tougher as character's develop​
• Fluid
  • DMs discover the world as often as players; roll with it
  • if players deviate from the intended path, appreciate the opportunity
  • Don’t halt momentum, but create a balance between intense narrative and action and giving players unstructured time for exploration
• Thorough
  • you must be every inch of your world
  • know the world so well that you can respond in its voice
  • create NPCs to add flavor, help a struggling group or hinder an arrogant group
  • disguise your hints; make your traps delicious
• Aware
  • DMs control the fun, keep your eyes open for it at all times
  • pay attention to which stories, abilities and strategies your players engage with and which they don't enjoy
  • adapt to player choices, abilities and interests; do not let the game get stale and redundant
  • Celebrate your players' strengths; let their characters play. Give a tank tons to demolish, a rogue tons to uncover, a ranger tons to stalk, a wizard tons to incant.

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​​Tips for a More Fulsome Experience

• Handouts
  • Invite tactility as often as possible. Physical puzzles, printed maps, ambient music, 3D printed miniatures, tokens or settings provide a wonderful texture and immersion to the game
• Campfire totem
  • Bring a sense of this tactility into the game world. Whenever characters are resting or players need a reprieve from action, host a campfire and have each player invent a productive and creative object, task, skill or hobby that is true to their character  
• Homebase
  • Encourage each player to invent a backstory, including their hometown and a domicile to which to add flavor. This can include a local friend or enemy network, family history, expertise over that terrain, and the option for players to store and recover treasure, weapons, items, memories and souvenirs
• Souvenirs
  • Souvenirs can add a little bit of everything. When a player or group accomplishes a great victory, decide on a relic to commemorate the event. It can be physical or remain within the game world – something that either has a small but crucial future use or can simply be worn or displayed as a reminder of an epic story.
• Have fun, duh
  • ​Yet this isn't always obvious. As we tell our students at the start of every game, "you control the fun." This is your world -- if you don't believe it, no one else will. We've found it's a lot easier to teach kids how to be more mature than to teach adults how to be less mature. Give yourselves permission to dive in as deep, wide, dorky, absurd and immersed as you are able. That's the point of the whole game: you get to invent who and what you've always wanted to.